Tag Archives: Peru

reflections.

Posted on January 13, 2012 | Leave a comment

It’s funny to think that this time last year I hadn’t even thought about going to South America; didn’t even think it was a possibility or an option.

Then something changed inside of me.. and I knew I had to get out and see the world. Whether or not it was an option, I was going to make it an absolute must.

It’s been about 3 months since I’ve been back from South America. With even trips sprinkled within to Costa Rica and South Korea, nothing compares to the land, culture and people from the land of the South.

So many things I miss; from the beautiful land..

The Amazon rainforests..

Cute little ladies..

Handmade crafts and souvenirs..

Having a classroom full of rowdy kids..

Taking a walk through the parks..

Dancing on the tops of bars..

Hanging out with the monkeys..

Befriending strangers..

And saying goodbye..

.

I had planned to go back in February but strangely now I feel stalled. I’m appreciating what I have here in California — family, friends, my makeup career, the abundant opportunities and choices here — and feeling comfortable with the fact that I don’t have to leave now. I can leave when I’m ready (in March, I hope. But who knows? No plans.)

And I can spend more time with this little one.. :)

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Peru. 8/30/11. justifications

Posted on August 30, 2011 | 2 Comments

I feel in conflict lately… all of our reactions and thoughts are only projections and justifications, it seems. I´ve spent my whole life running away from any bad feeling. If someone invokes bad feelings in me, I justify avoiding them by saying there is ¨bad energy¨ and we shouldn´t be around bad energy, right?

We seem to judge others if they act in a way we don´t like.. but what do we gain by shutting them out? Isn´t it our own shortcomings that are being aggravated when we judge another? If someone´s personality or ways ¨bother¨us, we justify the way we react by putting the blame on the other person. By closing off, we only shut off a part of ourselves..

I notice sometimes when I hear others complain about someone else´s actions or ways, my automatic response is to brush them off as my mind fills with thoughts: Why do they care what someone else is doing? Quit focusing on the negative. Don´t they know the more they put attention on this, the more energy they waste into being judgemental? 

And then I stop and realize I am doing the same. I have a clear awareness that maybe seeing my own flaws in another only exasterbates my own and in that, my own negative feelings within come out of hiding. In my unconsciousness, my mind may confuse this as the other provoking it but in reality, it is only me…

 

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8/21/11. Peru. a world of color

Posted on August 21, 2011 | 2 Comments

 

Arequipa, Peru.

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8/9/11. Peru. funny creatures

Posted on August 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

Well, I finally got to put my makeup artistry skills to use with some fidgety, cute kids and some fluffy paint brushes. :)

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Peru. 8/7/11. a balance

Posted on August 7, 2011 | 4 Comments

I have a steady routine here and to my surprise, it has been fulfilling, tiring plus rewarding.

In the morning I wake up, have breakfast and take a taxi to my spanish class. After two hours of spanish, I walk back to the volunteer house. I take different routes sometimes to absorb the city, sight-see, shop and grab an empanada for the thirty minute walk home (sometimes an hour when I get lost :P ).

Arequipa, Peru

There are always mini ice cream carts and shops everywhere and my conclusion is that people here enjoy the little things more. I always get the same chocolate covered chocolate bar with nuts and it honestly makes my whole day. I never used to feel like that before over something as simple as an icy treat…

After some relaxing, several of the volunteers and I get on a local bus to go to the after school program in the outskirts of the city 45 minutes away.

outskirts of the city near the mountains

the town


There are anywhere between 20-40 little kids of all different ages and six classrooms of different levels. We teach english for an hour then we go to the playground and play for an hour!

A teeth cleaning workshop!

A healthy snack for the little ones

Play time

The kids are amazing, smart and super sweet.. I am always impressed with them!

Amazing how happy one can be on a bus ride home, exhausted, cold and hungry..

Back at home, we make dinner, go online, talk, play games, watch a movie,.. There are almost 20 volunteers at the moment!

Every day goes by so quickly and feels full and enjoyable.. I have a balance here.

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Peru. 8/1/11. ayahuasca

Posted on August 2, 2011 | Leave a comment

Photo copyright Ayahuasca-Wasi

Since being in South America, I had heard “ayahuasca” numerous times. Words and phrases were being swirled into my conscience:

..medicinal plant found only in the jungle…

..becoming one with the glands of nature…

..highest form of hallucinogenic in the world…

..a Shaman guides you and shows you the way…

These were all phrases that immediately intrigued me and I want to know more.

Several days before the ceremony, I fast. The body must be pure; no meat, alcohol, smoking, spices, sugars,.. I stare at my plate of various fruits and crave a hamburger.. a Snickers bar.. a beer.

The night of the ceremony I feel an acute calmness. My mind feels eerily blank.

We all sit inside the temple in a circle atop cushions and heavy blankets. The Shaman is slowly putting together his supplies performing some sort of ritual; shaking dry branches, lighting candles, burning tobacco, rubbing a strange liquid on top of his bald head. He speaks and tells us more about the medicine.. the time it takes to prepare the drink, the importance of the healing, asking the plant to show you what you want to see, “when one person is sick, it means the whole community is sick,” how the medicine shows you both extremes so you can find your balance…

I feel a little anxious. I’m going to see all the sides of me I don’t want to see. The sides I’ve run away from. Oh God, I’m going to see that thing from that one time when I shouldn’t have done that and then…

One by one, we sit in front of the Shaman and he decides how much of the medicine to pour us. I gently take the cup, cradle it in my hands and silently speak my “intention.” I drink it in three gulps; it is bitter, acid-like with a slight taste of beans.

OK. It’s done. I sit back and slowly let myself go, trusting in the power of Ayahuasca…

What is in each of our minds is so different, private, special, unique. My experience was so personal that there are no words to explain and is something that would only have meaning for me. It was beautiful, emotional, happy, fun, full of only laughter, curiosity and love. Everything seemed insignificant yet had a purpose and reason.

After ten long hours, the morning light shined through the windows and we hear the early birds. We all slowly awakened after our long journey…

The rest of the day I feel slow. Disconnected? I sit under the sun, slowly observing my surroundings like a lazy cat. I can’t grip a thought or a feeling. Maybe this is the present? I have no thoughts of before or after, only now. My mind doesn’t want to define anything because somehow that would only make it constricting, contained, closed.. I feel as if I know nothing and it is the most freedom I´ve felt in my entire life.

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Peru. 7/21/11. strangers

Posted on July 22, 2011 | 1 Comment

“Where are you from?” A backpacker across from me asks in the hostel.

My throat is aching and I’m coughing up bits of phlegm — typical, travel small-talk is the last thing I want to do right now.

In less than forty seconds he has his laptop out, showing me his professional landscape photos and flipping through each one, naming them aloud like they are the names of his proud children.

They are beautiful but I feel a lack of enthusiasm, tired from my fever and the chilly winter weather.

“Would you like some tea? I have fresh honey with me too. I love bees.” He grins and pulls out a litre size jar of honey.

I start to protest knowing that the kitchen is down the stairs but he is already up and gone in a second.

The hot tea slowly warms my body and my guard is melting away little by little.

“And you live here in Lima?” I ask.

He shakes his head with a smile. “I live here.” His arms motion over his things. “This is what I own.” I see a big backpack, an assortment of bags, a yoga mat, a Macbook, camera, a towel and boots.

He shows me more slides of his photography — each photo more majestic than the one before. Machu Picchu, sunsets over ruins, crisp enormous waves, cliffs with the view of waterfalls between giant jungles. I look at his brown, weathered skin. He must have had to hike for days just to get one of these shots..

“As long as I am healthy enough to surf, hike and take my pictures I am happy. I like to think two minutes into my future; maybe three.”

I feel embarrassed for labeling him a backpacker — for brushing him off so quickly.

Each person has an amazing story if we choose to listen… if we choose to see them as a human being rather than the limiting roles or characters we define them as: a foreigner, a salesperson, a young teenager, an old person, a businessman, a waitress.

We only lose a part of ourselves when we believe and act upon these false limitations. The most open thing we can do for another is to listen without feeling superior or inferior, without judgements and without our limiting opinions or labels…

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Peru. 7/19/11. minimalism?

Posted on July 20, 2011 | 1 Comment

I’m surrounded by piles of clothes and think hard.

What do I need to get rid of?

It had never come to my realization that South America actually had a cold, rainy winter and I traveled right in the middle of it. So, earlier in the day I went shopping and bought a leather jacket, a jean jacket, a cardigan, four shirts, ballerina flats and a pair of jeans.

Traveling for months and carrying a heavy luggage bag and one backpack on a tiny frame, you realize what you really need to carry with you and what you don’t.

I had definitely done more shopping than I had planned on this trip so I was in agreement with myself to donate some things along the way. So far my donation pile was only a pair of jeans, a zip-up hoodie that now refused to fit in my bag, a black long sleeve, a plain tank top and a $2 t-shirt I bought in Ecuador.

The weight of my new clothes and my old clothes was completely unbalanced but it pained me to get rid of anything else. I wanted every piece. It also pained me that I was so obviously attached to my clothes.

Why did I feel so obligated to this minimalistic thing? Do I owe anyone but myself in living this backpacking, live-with-less, testing my limits lifestyle?

No. I like wearing nice things. Fringy, furry, frilly things. I don’t need every trend that’s available but I like the option of being able to choose. I don’t care for living with colorful insects or without internet and I will probably never go back to the jungle again. Sometimes we can take a few steps backward but it is all a part of who we are and what ever makes each of us happy must come first.

I survey the small pile before me. I change my mind and take out the black long sleeve top and stuff it back into my bag of belongings. The rest goes in a plastic bag to go to somebody else who can use them.

I feel lighter, happy and stylish. Just the way I like it.

.

 

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Peru. 7/13/11. simplicity

Posted on July 16, 2011 | 5 Comments

They park the car on the side of the road and we sit. I look out the window and see the never-ending stretch of the beach and the waves forming what the surfers call “barrels.” After a minute I feel restless and tap my fingertips on my seat.

“Are we getting out?” I ask, wondering what the four of us are doing sitting not going anywhere.

“No, we’re just watching the waves.”

Watching? I’m confused. “Why?”

“Because they’re beautiful, no?” He answers simply.

“Oh.” The simplicity of it hits me — the irony is astounding. I feel humbled; I am completely in this moment.

This is exactly what I am missing in my life.

-

Sitting on the sandy beach of the Peruvian coast, I look out into the sea before me — the water looks like a million glimmering specs of broken glass dancing within the waves. The foamy waves hit the shore with a sort of fickleness and yet they have a rhythm that is in harmony with the sun, the wind, the land.

A million thoughts like the pieces of broken glass wave through me: what should I do when I get back home? I feel so lazy and unproductive lately. Everyone here is so relaxed. I feel like I should be doing something. Why can’t I relax and just be? I have a lot to learn. Does all this traveling have a purpose for me? Memories of the past month wash over my thoughts and suddenly, I almost smile with a realization. My mind is as disorderly as the current before me, my thoughts just as endless as the big, blue sea and I’m drowning in the restless, overpowering waves.

With every thought, I seem to grab hold and resist, fighting the impossibility of a crashing wave. My thoughts are nothing but the impermanence of sifting sand yet I am letting them suffocate my being, missing the life that is right before me.

In the end, I feel tired — tired from resisting, from fighting, from taking hold of my fleeting thoughts. So, I let them go. I let the wave be the wave, a thought be only that what it is: a perception of what is not, an illusion that only causes me to drown deeper and wash me further away from the shore. I let the waves take me; surrendering into the harmony of the unlimited sea.

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