Sometimes I sit here with my laptop or pad of paper and I am frozen, trying so so hard and if I’m lucky a few sentences will spill out, maybe a paragraph. It seems more difficult lately, especially as I get closer to being finished with the first draft.
When I started this story I was in a darker place and I wonder if I can only finish it in the same place. I have been feeling lighter the past couple months and this lightness, this calmness, doesn’t seem to push me at all to the character of my book. So, I sit — sometimes thinking of absolutely nothing at all, only an empty calm, then I reflect on the journey of writing a story, how joyous it can be, how frustrating it is, how many ups and downs there are, the demons, the divine moments, the gifts — just like this parallel life we live..
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Gosh, it’s really hard, isn’t it? I finished my first novel around three years ago. I’ve re-edited it three times. Last Christmas, I re-read again and just cringed at so many different points… man… I guess we just have to let the work grow with us and don’t feel bad about however you felt at the time. You never know, an appropriate shade of darkness may return and enable you to finish off your story in the same vein; or, your new mindset may inspire you to change the whole vibe of the story… time and distance can help but don’t give up on it.
So very true.. thanks for your encouraging words
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