stripped canvas

I have never been a religious person, not even spiritual. I think I used to be a bit more logical (cynical, too) – I didn’t understand the “mystery” of life; I just wanted to know. That then turned into the practice of thoughts, affirmations, beliefs and self-mastery, which then turned into the study of energies and the belief of manifestations and frequencies, which has now turned into “spirituality,” I suppose. I listen to my heart more. There is no justifying or explaining it; I just follow it. I have dreams now (I used to never ever remember my dreams) that seem to tell me things, give me messages. I woke up in the middle of the night yesterday, scribbled something down and went back to sleep. This is what I had written:

Everything that we express and create is from the direct divinity of God. This universe was created for us to experience ourselves through God’s heart. It’s all just waves in a bigger ocean… every emotion, every life, every moment, every experience. Love may be the most beautiful, painful, deep, dark, amazing thing in this human life yet through this act is an exploration of getting closer to God. God, for me, is not one singular entity, one person; it is me, you, trying to find ourselves and discovering who we are whether that be through our dreams, goals, our lovers, families, children, our pains and joys. We all have our own way and our own time.

I also had another dream (dreams seem like secret out of body experiences, don’t they?)  a couple nights ago that I was the infinite light and I held a little blue marble called Earth in my palm and placed a piece of me into this body I am now. I whispered to the body to have fun, to love, to live my life however makes you happy, to worry less, to take your time and I’ll always be here.

(If I would have told myself these stories five years ago, I would have laughed in my own face.

But really, who knows…? I don’t know. It’s just what I feel.)

“allow me to strip the definitions from your Soul, and admire your sublimely naked Spirit.”

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fucking dream I’m living in… -Lana Del Rey “Radio”